In Transition

It isn’t that I can’t believe that I haven’t posted on my blog since November, that I haven’t worked on my writing since November (except in my writing groups), and I haven’t even updated a plugin on the website until yesterday. It is that I am annoyed at myself for all of this time having come between my last post and this one. The reason, mostly, was that my last post was days before my grandmother passed away. She had terminal pancreatic cancer, as I posted about multiple times, and we expected that she would eventually pass but the sudden decline from wanting to run around and be active to dying just a couple days later was not expected.

Death is not new to me. I’ve dealt with death many times both personally and professionally.  I have walked into situations and found people I had never met dead, I’ve discovered people who had passed a week before and were just discovered by a neighbor or a concerned family member who hadn’t heard from them after attempting for a few days.  I woke up one morning when I was fourteen to discover my father had passed away, and I held the hands of both grandmother’s when they passed. I know death, but it still surprised me. It surprised me because in my personal experiences, with death, it has always been a gradual process, but it wasn’t for her. Even though it was irrational, I never thought that I would see her pass especially on her seventieth birthday.

Motivation was gone after she passed to write, to look at my blog, or to look at my writing projects. I even took a long leave from my writing groups and thankfully had great friends who took charge and kept them moving in my absence. While it has been easier returning to my writing groups, I find it so much harder to return to my own personal writing and haven’t until this blog entry.

At the moment, I am in transition, in a lot of ways.  I have resigned from my position at the 911 Center I work for, though I’ll be staying per diem.  I have accepted a full-time position back at my primary EMS Agency and I’m excited to be doing that again every day. As I write this post, I’m sitting in the 911 center feeling out of place. I am still considered a full-time employee and will for another couple of weeks but I don’t feel at home anymore.  I am on my way out and able to count the days I have left on my fingers it’s a strange feeling.

On the other hand not having started officially at my, sort of, new job I feel awkward there as well.  When I am there to work shifts I set up as a per diem before being promoted and when asked if I’m available for an open shift still giving the answer that I have to work at my other job. I know that this will all feel much different when I sign into the MDT for the first time as an official full-time employee but for now I feel out of place no matter which employer I’m working for.

As for my blog and my writing, those are also in transition.  As I slowly feel the motivation to do this returning I will be working on the site updating links, figuring out what parts of the site I want to keep or remove, etc.  I plan on making the updates slowly and most likely won’t really announce them as formally as I had previously.  I also plan on returning to writing and while I have a fairly good idea of what I would like to accomplish first I’m making no promises to myself or publically as to what they are right now.

So that’s all I have to update for now at least until these transitions are over.

NaNoWriMo 2015

Despite having a lot going on this year and not being sure if I really even want to participate I’ve decided to give it a shot anyway. I’ll be entering the 2015 NaNoWriMo with hopes of completing the goal. I have decided that I’m not going to push it and I’ll do what I can as circumstance and motivation allow.

Pancreatic Cancer

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Click Image for more Information

Star Trek Writing Contest

This is a somewhat interesting contest I’m not sure that I like all of the rules or that the prize is not Star Trek related but it’s interesting.  I’m going to have to set this one out with way too many things in my life getting in the way of writing but I did want to share.

Simon and Schuster has a Strange New Worlds content going on and you can get your Star Trek short story published in a collection and the Grand Prize winners get a publishing deal for a non-Star Trek book!  For more information please click here.

Never Forget

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Screenshot of my Facebook page.

Summer Continues

So it’s been awhile since I’ve had the time or motivation to sit down and work on a blog update. There is plenty to talk about the end of the JuNoWriMo challenge, some new things I’m working on, spectating at a triathlon for my best friend, etc.

JuNoWriMo

May as well start with the writing related things, right? JuNoWriMo actually got off to a great start and I was at my goal mark or ahead up until the halfway point of the month.  Sadly work got the best of me and that was where it ended… I ended up with a motivational stall and that was where it stopped.  I’ll perhaps post an excerpt from what was written during the month though I haven’t decided yet.  The story I began I like a lot and enjoy the main character very much and I expect to continue to work on it in the future.

New Projects

So I’m working on some new projects writing wise with two different friends of mine that I’ve written with in the past on RP Groups.  I am pretty excited about getting to write with them one on one to create our own stories and I’ll perhaps post some excerpts about these stories and release some more details as they’re ironed out and my partners are ok with it.

Triathlon

I had the pleasure of watching a triathlon that one of my best friends, Nadia, participated in. It was quite an interesting experience and I learned some things.  Like for instance signs are helpful in events that span miles of a city… I felt like this event wasn’t really ran very well in that respect.  Second I learned that when they say “rolling hills” they are probably lying.  I also learned that I have a lot of respect for the people that participate in these events the amount of work and preparation needed is amazing and to complete it is also something I couldn’t imagine doing personally.  Which brings me to the next thing that I learned which is that I have no desire to ever attempt one…

To be honest the one thing that I learned and was amazed at was the attitudes of the people in it.  There were a variety of distances being done and different classes of participants together on the course. Everyone had amazingly encouraging things to say to everyone, while watching when they passed each other they’d always encourage each other.

A woman that we had met on the shuttle bus and started sooner than my friend had even given me an update on how she was doing as she ran past me.  It was really quite a great experience to see how not only a great achievement was being accomplished but that not only did my best friend have my support but the support of all the other participants running, swimming, and biking with her.

Unbelieveable Milestone

It honestly astounds me that my son is graduating from preschool today! The little one he is five and he’ll be joining his older brother in the Elementary School next year riding the bus together and everything.  He hasn’t gotten the card yet but the one his older brother signed for him had a message, he wrote himself, about how excited he is to have little brother come to his school with him.

It’s just so hard to believe it’s possible…

JuNoWriMo – Plan Established

It took hours to finally make a decision on what it was that I’m going to be writing about. I finally decided to use a character I’ve written with previously as part of a writing group of course it will be modified for the purposes of my story.  I’ve also decided that the story will revolve around a police officer, her best friend, and a few of their friends coworkers and family as needed. This will be about the relationships of the characters and how they evolve and deal with situations at work.  Dealing with stress and their experiences in law enforcement and years in the military.

That’s all the details I’m going to give away for the moment… stay tuned for further updates!

JuNoWriMo & More

JuNoWriMo

It’s been a long time since I’ve sat down and took the time to just write.  Sure I do a lot of collaborative writing games but they’re not the same thing. I mean write for myself toward the goal of becoming a published writer. eBook or better is the goal!  When? I don’t know but if I don’t keep trying harder than it’ll never happen.

I was shown the website for the JuNoWriMo by a fellow writer who thought it might help get me back into the swing of things and I tend to agree. Or at least I hope it will…  that being said I’m starting off with the goal of writing 50,000 words this month starting on the first and ending on the thirtieth at 23:59.

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Updates

While I’m at it I thought I’d provide some updates on things in general. Tuesday I’ll be going with my Grandmother to see how the radiation treatment for her pancreatic cancer turned out. Other than that it’s been a busy month with work and having the pleasure of supporting the US Coast Guard Academy Graduation working with the Medical Clinic.

In other news I’ve reconnected with a very good friend who has been my best friend for years. It’s amazing to know that despite how disconnected that we have become over the last few years that we can always pick up the phone or send each other a text message to each other like the last time we talked was the day before.  The last month or two we have been doing a lot better and are maintaining our contact.

She tells me that she should be launching her new blog, that I host, sometime today!  So if it does happen I’ll update the post with the link! Anyway, more importantly, I’m really happy to have her back in my life more often even if it’s just over the phone or via text message because she really is and will always be my best friend.

Just to wrap it up I’ve updated my links page!  And will update that again once her blog is online… I also will be making post updates on JuNoWriMo as the month proceeds.

Catching Up

It’s been forever since I’ve written, as a friend pointed out, but honestly life just hasn’t been very conducive to it. While I’ve been able to write with others and enjoy doing so taking the time to put effort into a solo project has felt an awful lot like work.  Perhaps the other writing I’m doing is more than what I should have took on at one time but I enjoy it. While I want to be a successful writer and maybe even one day a professional one I also want to still love it.

As I’ve written about before my grandmother is still being treated for Pancreatic Cancer and I’m working hard not only at being a father and working full time but also at taking care of her and her needs.  I don’t mind doing it but it makes for longer days and less muse which is important to writing.

I find that I go in cycles of being a really strong writer who can go on forever describing things in detail and coming up with the dialogue needed to move a scene and then days where I have nothing. The same holds true with having muse to write about one plot or story and then after a couple weeks of working like crazy on that moving on to something else for a while before moving on to something else and then back to the beginning.  Another writer that I speak with frequently who has actually published said that I need to be more disciplined about my writing.  That I need to think about my writing as a job and while I’d like it to maybe be my job someday I know that realistically right now it can’t be my job and I need to put my effort into the things that are my job now and will take care of myself and my family.

All in all it doesn’t really make a difference I guess. I’m still here, I still want to write, I still want to write this blog. I’m okay with it not happening tomorrow or this year and maybe even next year. Because as long as I love writing I’ll keep doing it and if I ever become successful at it then great if not… I still love it.

Now that my ranting is done with…  I have actually even updated the website to the latest wordpress version.  There are some new features that I’m kind of excited about and I hope to use them here.  If you’re curious like I am when it comes to things wordpress check out the video below.